I have a new toddler dilemma on my hands.
Everyone knows the secret to putting a kid to sleep is to pretend to be sleeping too. My child is almost two and a half years old, and I have been pretty much using this method ever since she could open her eyes. She likes to snuggle to fall asleep, so for naps and at bedtime, we lay down in my bed, she rests her head on my shoulder, and she falls asleep.
I think lots of kids go to sleep like this – kids seem to have this really strong FOMO over what they would miss if they went to bed early, so convincing them that the household is going down to sleep at the same time makes for an easier bedtime transition. The fake sleeping technique had been working, up until recently when she realized I am completely full of it.
Unfortunately for me she is both a smart kid and a total goof-ball. So, instead of just calling me out on being awake and staying up herself, she silently and sneakily messes with me until I crack. She is such a dork I just can’t hold in the laughter, and she now has a few strategies perfected to dodge bedtime.
I think most kids would tell you they need a glass of milk, or that they want to read another bedtime story… not mine! Though she does make those pleas while the lights are on, the ridiculousness ensues once we are snuggled up to fall asleep.
Her first new move is kissing and nibbling on the rings on my fingers. While we are laying in bed quietly (and I am fake sleeping of course), she will grab my hand and slowly bring it to her face. She snuggles up with it, then will start to nibble on my wedding ring. Yes nibble, like a little bunny eating lettuce. Where did this idea come from? Who knows, but she thinks it is funny, and if I crack my eyes open I can see her smiling. She keeps going until I let out a little snicker under my breath, then busts up laughing and the cat is out of the bag that we both are awake.
The other new move is quietly trying to put things up my nose. She has this little beanie baby puppy dog named “Polka” that has a tiny little pink tail, that she has somehow decided would be better off up my nostril while sleeping. It starts the same way, where we are snuggling and I am fake sleeping, trying to put off that tired vibe to get her to go down too. She sneaks the dog up towards my face, which I cannot tell is happening, until this little fabric tail is silently jammed up my nose. Seriously kid? Yes seriously, she is weird. But again, I can’t contain myself anymore and crack letting out a laugh and telling her that dog tails don’t go up mommy’s nose, and here we are awake again.
So far I have learned that when you have tough parenting questions, Google or the mom groups you are a part of on Facebook can typically lend some advice. I however think this may be the first instance where I might be on my own… though I am tempted to type in a search bar: “what to do when your kid won’t fall asleep because they want to put things up your nose” and see what comes up.
I will ask the other blog moms out there what strange things you have run into that keeps your kid from going to bed at night… is there anyone else out there who feels my struggle? What is the weird $hit your kid does to dodge nap time and bed time?
Stay sane toddler moms! The struggle IS REAL.
X.O. – Abbey Co.